tickle time?

"Mr. Morton I felt my bladder tickle."

"Mr. Morton, would I make a good butler?"

what?

"Why does it always smell like beef jerky in here."
"How do you spell 'sink'?"

teeth are bones?

"The only bones I've ever broken is my teeth"

New entries today

“Hey ya’ got any old people in your bedroom?”

"I joined EMO Mickey Mouse Club"

"I am the dark mistress of demons"

bras?

"Bras are like friends, they're close to your heart and there for support."

Lefted?

"Mr. Morton, is "lefted" a word? For example, they lefted the park."

who's the woman?

"Leave me alone...I'm busy,woman!"
--male student said to another male student

oatmeal?

Here is a student response after I said "I'm not giving any homework over spring break because after a week off your brain turns to mush."

Student response: "Then oatmeal would come out of your ears. It'd be worse if it were Cream O'Wheat."

Another quote today: "What's so bad about washing your feet?"

Random musings in our library during conference night!!!

“Get in the Kitchen Woman”

“Would that be considered clothes?”

“Loading, Loading, Loading”

“That is not a request that is an order”

“His phone is so loud, is it for old people?”

“She used to put orange flecks in them”

"I have been with Shannon, with Becky and with Brandon”

“Do I breathe hard?”

“Hello, Greetings this is Andrew Cain”

“I have two minutes to practice not breathing”

“No wonder he is breathing hard”

“Do we have a track?”

“I’ll throw up if I eat another cookie”

Parents say the stragenst thing Part I

Angry Parent comment: “It’s disturbing to me that he thought it was admirable to present a piece of work that was turned in "Late” as his best work for that class. If this type of thing is encouraged, it’s just wrong. It does not encourage excellence.”

--staff member's comment opinion (thought of only in private): "Hmmmmm yes, I tell all my advisory kids that they should pick out their WORST work, so then the next time their parents see their work, it’s an improvement."

Kitley and kaboodle

“Now how does it make you feel that I’m out here and unable to learn?”

--what a student said to Mr. Kitley a few minutes after being sent out of class for being a constant distraction.

Care of Fraser's health class

Student: “Can fish get tapeworms?”
Fraser: “You know I’m not sure…”

smelly?

"I have purple underwear"
--No, he was not talking to me thankfully.

"I'm a butt now? What, do I smell?"

This one made me laugh

The following is an exchange of dialogue between two students. I felt like I was in a Seinfeld episode.
"If nowhere is nowhere then is somewhere, somewhere?"
"Nowhere is somewhere because to be anywhere is somewhere."
"But nowhere means nowhere so it can't be somwhere."
"If you're in the middle of nowhere, you're still somwhere."
"But somewhere means you are somewhere, not nowhere."
"Okay, you are still somewhere if you are nowhere."

I was impressed with this conversation!! :-)

Play on words from a big sevie

"Oh, that's golly jood"

Going bananas

"Oh My God, that's a nice banana."
--student's response to a random drawing

Truck load of quotes

In the future, I will type in quotes throughout the day, but I obviously have backloaded a lot of entries...so here is an intro to my daily world.

"Can sandpaper kill you?"

"I'd eat old people to survive."

"The they speak another language in England?"

"My eye keeps on watering when I poke it."

"You be the Do-Do bird."

"She's so big she knocks down the shampoo."

"I'd cry if I pooped myself."

"You love my grandmother? Ewwww."

"Eat my shoe."

"I was raised a baby."

"When I grow up I'm going to be a bee."

"Have you ever touched it?"

"I need to urinate."

"Dude, did you get shorter?"

"You're five inches late."

"Can we stop talking about me?"

"Don't judge me."

"How'd I know that? Oh yeah, cuz I'm smart."

"I'm a magical monkey."

"White hair is sexy on girls."

"I didn't shave my cat."

"Son of a beachfront."

"Do you wish you were a robot?"

What did he say?